Don't Pay Your Divorce Lawyer to Fix Your Feelings.

Hey friend.

It doesn't matter if you are the one who asked for the divorce, or if your spouse is the one who initiated the process.

It is not going to be fun either way.

You are still going to feel negative feelings.

The more you try to resist feeling afraid, sad, angry, guilty. . . the more you're going to feel that feeling.

"What we resist persists."  I don't remember who coined that phrase, but I know it to be true.

I've seen this in every single one of my divorce clients for the past two decades.

I always tell clients that the process of getting divorced -- from a legal and financial perspective -- is relatively simple.  I also know that to be true.

You don't have to prove anything -- and your spouse doesn't have to prove anything -- in order to "get" the divorce.

The money and child-related issues are not super complicated.  There is a process that is followed that brings you to final resolution, one way or another.

Unless you want your divorce lawyer to "make" you feel better.

Then, your divorce will probably get more expensive.

When the client believes that something her lawyer does is going to "make" her feel better, she resists doing the things that the lawyer advises her to do.

She resists because the doing of those things doesn't "make" the negative feelings go away.

And then the client has to talk to the lawyer again, and repeat a conversation about something that should have already happened.  And the client still doesn't feel better, so she wants to talk to her lawyer again.  And again.  Cha-ching.

The client is looking in the wrong place for the wrong thing, because there is nothing that a divorce lawyer can do to change the client's feelings.

That's because your lawyer doesn't create your feelings.  She doesn't have that power.  And that's great news.

The legal process is not going to "make" you feel better.  That's not possible.  It does not have that power.  That's also great news.

Every time you call your lawyer because you feel uncomfortable -- or because you believe your ex did something to "make" you feel uncomfortable -- you're calling the wrong person for the wrong thing.

And that's an expensive phone call.  Seriously.  Stop it.

Keep the divorce simple.  Spend less money on your lawyer.  Want to know how do you do that?

Allow yourself to feel your feelings.  All of them, especially fear, sadness, anger or guilt. Feel them all the way through.  Every day.  Don't try to get away from them.  I'm serious.  The more you try to avoid negative feelings, the stronger they become.

I promise you that feeling fear, sadness, anger or guilt will not hurt you if you allow those feelings and process them all the way through.

And your divorce lawyer can't help you with that.

Except if that divorce lawyer is also a life coach who is certified by the best life coaching school in the world.  (I'm raising my hand right over here.)

If you want to spend less on your divorce lawyer, then join one of my coaching sessions.  The amazing clients that are part of my Membership get access to these sessions every month.

If you apply the tools that I teach you in the coaching sessions, your divorce will get a lot easier.  And you'll spend less money on your lawyer.

Oh and if you and I haven't talked yet, the first call is free.  Just click here to schedule.  You're welcome.

Talk to you soon.