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How to Communicate with a Difficult Ex. . . and Feel Better about your Divorce. . .

. . . and other things they should teach you in Divorce Court 

. . . from a Practicing Divorce Lawyer and Certified Life Coach.

Your divorce or custody case is over -- or maybe you're still working through it --and you thought you would feel more relieved by now. . .

but everything still feels so heavy.

Maybe it's because you still have to deal with your ex, and he’s still. . . well. . . him.

You know you need to communicate with him, but you've been given absolutely no direction at all about how to do that.

Could someone please explain the right way to do that?

You're afraid to not respond to his sh#$!tty comments, especially the stuff he says around the kids.  I mean, you should stand up for yourself, right?

But then again, you're totally paranoid that whatever you do say will make you look bad later and you're constantly thinking that someone will believe him over you.

You're so tied up in knots that just seeing a message from your ex makes your stomach drop.

I mean, you knew it would be hard for a little while, but lately you find yourself thinking. . . 

Wasn't I supposed to feel better by now?

When is THAT going to happen?

And what about the kids?  How do I make sure they’ll be okay?

That anxiety just bleeds into everything else in your life, doesn't it?

And it's such a drain on the mental energy — not to mention the time — that you really need to focus on other things. . . like just being present with your kids, your job, your life.

Y'know, that awesome, peaceful life you were supposed to get back!?

You think he needs to change so that you can feel better, right?  You have a lot of evidence for this.  If he would just stop being such a -- go ahead, fill in the blank, it's okay -- then everything would be fine.

But deep down you know that’s not happening.  And by the way, who has all the power in that story?  (Hint. . . it is not you.)

What if we can change the narrative?

What if there is a way to do this without ever waiting or wishing for your ex to change?

What if you just need someone to show you how?  (I’m raising my hand right now. . . I know. . . you can’t see me.)

My name is Janie Lanza Vowles.  I am a practicing divorce lawyer and certified life coach.

I've spent the last twenty years coaching so many clients on managing communication with exes who are, well, let's just say "inflexible." 

Artfully handling communication with a difficult ex is one of the things that I've gotten very good at. 

And I can show you how to do it, too.  In fact, that is exactly what I do inside of my coaching program.

Interested? | Here's how it works.

The Formula

In your first five weeks, I will teach you a formula that you can use to solve ANY problem without waiting or wishing for anything outside of you to change, including your ex.

The Protocol

While you're learning the formula, I’ll also walk you step-by-step through creating your communication protocol.  This is the system that you will use to confidently and effectively communicate with your ex.


You'll also have unlimited private email access to me anytime you need written coaching, including my help responding to a message from your ex.

Group Coaching

You’ll have access to monthly small group coaching calls.  You can remain anonymous and post written questions during the call, and watch others get coached.  And, when you’re ready, you can volunteer to get live coaching on the call.

Private Coaching

Throughout the program, you’ll also have the ability to schedule additional private coaching calls with me (via zoom).  Instead of living at the effect of your ex's behavior, you're going to start intentionally creating the life you want to live.


And the very best part . . . You start finding peace and getting your life back.  I get to watch it happen.  We’ll both love this process.  Okay, I might love it a little bit more, but you won’t even be mad about that. 

"Thank you for your confidence in me. I’ve come a long way with your guidance and support and I appreciate you so much."


"Your insight and explanation of how to incorporate the formula really cuts through the thought clutter in my head and blows my mind in the best way."


What I’m going to teach you about communicating with your ex is not what you're expecting.

And that's awesome news. . .

Because the truth is you don't need someone to commiserate with you about how hard it is to co-parent after divorce.

And you definitely don't need another Facebook group where everyone complains about how their ex is a total narcissist.

You need a real solution -- a step-by-step process -- that is entirely within your control. 

That is exactly what I have for you inside of this program.

Once we nail this down (and we will), you won't believe all of the space that opens up for you to live an awesome life.

After the Formula and Protocol. . . There's More Goodness for You

After you learn the foundational formula, you'll gain access to additional topics each month so that you can really dig in and up-level your post-divorce life.

Keep Learning and Getting Coached

As long as you remain enrolled in the program, you'll continue to have unlimited email access to me, access to the small group calls and access to the new content released monthly.



Your whole life is a series of decisions.  In this course, I show you how to simplify making and owning your decisions.


Yeah, I said it.  How much you earn, spend and have is because of what you think about it.  In this course, we'll crack open your money beliefs, especially the ones  that will hold you back in your post-divorce life.

Manage Time and Get It Done

You think you're "busy" and that's the problem.  "Busy" is not a thing that lives outside of you.  I know you don't believe me right now, but I'll show you.

Let's connect for a complimentary coaching session.

In twenty minutes, we can shift how you think about communicating with your ex.

This is a one-on-one virtual (via zoom) session.  By the end of the session, you'll know what to do next.

Click Here to Schedule

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