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How to Communicate with a Difficult Ex. . . and Feel Better about your Divorce. . .

. . . and other things they should teach you in divorce court 

. . . from a practicing divorce lawyer and certified life coach.

Your divorce or custody case is over -- or maybe you're still working through it --and you thought you would feel more relieved by now. . .

but everything still feels so heavy.

Maybe it's because you still have to deal with your ex, and he’s still. . . well. . . him.

That piece of paper that says you’re divorced tells you not to disparage each other in front of the kids.  It also says something about sharing information and facilitating mutual respect and open communication.

But it gives you absolutely no direction at all about how to do that.  Shouldn't someone have explained the right way to do that?

And that no-insulting-each-other rule, he's not even really following that.

You're afraid to not respond to his comments, especially the stuff he says around the kids.  I mean, you should stand up for yourself, right?

But then again, you're totally paranoid that whatever you do say will make you look bad later and you're constantly thinking that someone will believe him over you.

You're so tied up in knots that just seeing a message from your ex makes your stomach drop.

I mean, you knew it would be hard for a little while, but lately you find yourself thinking. . . 

Wasn't I supposed to feel better by now?

When is THAT going to happen?

And what about the kids?  How do I make sure they’ll be okay?

That anxiety just bleeds into everything else in your life, doesn't it?

And it's such a drain on the mental energy — not to mention the time — that you really need to focus on other things. . . like just being present with your kids, your job, your life.

Y'know, that awesome, peaceful life you were supposed to get back!?

You think he needs to change so that you can feel better, right?  You have a lot of evidence for this.  If he would just stop being such a -- go ahead, fill in the blank, it's okay -- then everything would be fine.

But deep down you know that’s not happening.  And by the way, who has all the power in that story?  (Hint. . . it is not you.)

What if we can change the narrative?

What if there is a way to do this without ever waiting or wishing for your ex to change?

What if you just need someone to show you how?  (I’m raising my hand right now. . . I know. . . you can’t see me.)

Click here if you're ready for the next step

My name is Janie Lanza Vowles.  I am a practicing family lawyer and certified life coach.

I've spent the last twenty years coaching so many clients on managing communication with exes who are, well, let's just say "inflexible." 

Artfully handling communication with a difficult ex is one of the things that I've gotten very good at. 

And I can show you how to do it, too.  In fact, that is exactly what I do inside of my coaching program.

Interested? | Here's how it works.

The Formula

First, I teach you a formula that you can use to solve ANY problem without waiting or wishing for anything outside of you to change, including your ex.

The Protocol

I’ll walk you step-by-step through creating your communication protocol.  This is the system that you will use to confidently and effectively communicate with your ex.


You'll also have unlimited private email access to me anytime you need my help responding to a message from your ex.  I reply to all messages personally and promptly.

Private Coaching

As you implement your communication protocol, you’ll have three private 50-minute coaching calls with me (via zoom).  This is where the real magic happens.  Instead of living at the effect of your ex's behavior, you're going to start intentionally creating the life you want to live.

Group Coaching

You’ll also have access to two additional small group coaching calls.  We use a zoom webinar format, so that you can remain anonymous and post written questions to be answered during the call, and watch others get coached (which can be even more helpful than getting coached yourself.). When you’re ready, you can volunteer to get live coaching on the call.


And the very best part . . . You start finding peace and getting your life back.  I get to watch it happen.  We’ll both love this process.  Okay, I might love it a little bit more, but you won’t even be mad about that. 

What I’m going to teach you about communicating with your ex is not what you're expecting.

And that's awesome news. . .

Because the truth is you don't need someone to commiserate with you about how hard it is to co-parent after divorce.

And you definitely don't need another Facebook group where everyone complains about how their ex is a total narcissist.

You need a real solution -- a step-by-step process -- that is entirely within your control. 

That is exactly what I have for you inside of this program.

Once we nail this down (and we will), you won't believe all of the space that opens up for you to live an awesome life.

Let's connect for a complimentary coaching session.

In twenty minutes, I can help you shift how you think about communicating with your ex.

This is a one-on-one virtual (via zoom) session.  By the end of the session, we'll know if my coaching program is right for you.

Click Here to Schedule

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