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Your mindset matters.

As a family lawyer, my job is to tell my clients what action to take to maximize the odds of getting the results they want from their divorce, custody or support case.

Simple, right?  No, not really.

It feels hard to do the thing I’m telling you to do.  Your brain pushes against it.

You’re fighting me.  Why?

It’s okay.  There’s nothing wrong with you.

In fact, the opposite is true.  You’re fighting me because you have a human brain.  This is the best news ever, because your human brain is the most amazing machine on the planet.

But most of you aren’t using the machine to your benefit.  You’re letting it run in default mode.  You’re living at the effect of what it’s serving up to you without question.

It’s your car, and you’re sitting in the passenger seat.

The divorce, custody or support case that you’re involved in right now is going to end.  At some point in the future, it doesn’t even matter exactly when, you won’t be thinking about your case all the time.

“I just want this to be over.”  That’s what you’ve been telling yourself you wanted, right?

We’re going to get there.

But you’ll still have your brain.  And you’ll still have a lot of life to live.  And, especially if you have children, you’ll still have a relationship with your ex.

You'll tell yourself that you won’t, that you don’t need to talk to or see your ex.  That might even work for a bit.

But your relationship with your ex is what you think about your ex.  Like, in your brain.

And you can’t avoid your own brain.  Why would you want to?  When you have the option of making it work for you, why would you want to get away from it?

You can stay in the passenger seat.  Most people do.

You can continue to live at the effect of your brain, and at the effect of your relationship with your ex.

Or you can learn how to manage your brain.

This car is going to keep running with or without your direction.

You want to drive, right?   Good.  I want you to drive, too.

Talk to you soon.

Curious about how I can help you?

Let’s connect for a complimentary coaching session.

This is a private (just you and me) virtual (via zoom) session.

In twenty minutes, we can shift how you think about communicating with your ex.


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