Your Divorce will NOT Make You Feel ANYTHING.
So you're getting divorced, or you've been divorced, or maybe you're thinking about filing.
Your divorce will consist of the following:
- dividing assets and debt;
- establishing a parenting schedule for your children;
- and determining who should pay what amount in support.
Oh, and a court judgment that says your legal status changes from married to unmarried.
Your divorce is not going to do anything else for you.
Family court is not going to do anything else for you.
Lawyers and judges (when they're being lawyers and judges) are not going to do anything else for you.
And your Divorce is not going to "make" you happy (or sad, or angry.) It does not have that power.
Ironically, the clients of mine who believe that there divorce will make them happy, feel even worse after the divorce is concluded.
Because they had an expectation, and that expectation was not met. What they usually do not realize is that the problem was not with the divorce's failure to meet the expectation.
The problem was with having the expectation to begin with.
Your Divorce, your marital status, where you live, what car you drive, what job you perform each day -- these are all external circumstances.
External circumstances do not make you happy. Or sad. In fact, circumstances don't create your feelings at all.
Your thoughts create your feelings. The thoughts that you have about your circumstances -- like your divorce -- will create your feelings.
You'll resist this idea at first, until you realize it's the best news ever.
So what do you think about your divorce?
Some of my clients talk about their divorce as if it's a riptide they're caught in, and they're exhausting themselves try to get to shore.
Some of my clients talk about their divorce as if it's a new beginning, turning the page, starting with a clean slate, cutting off dead ends.
These clients feel differently about the same exact thing. How is that possible?
And, no, it's not that one client's divorce is shorter, or longer, or one client has more money than another client, or worked outside of the home during the marriage, or is gainfully employed and makes more than her spouse. These are also circumstances, and they also do not create feelings.
What if you can choose to believe anything you want about your divorce?
What if you can choose to believe anything you want about how your divorce will impact the rest of your life?
What if you can choose to believe that your divorce means absolutely nothing about you at all?
What are you choosing to believe about your divorce right now?
Just click here and and tell me. Really, I want to know.
Talk to you soon.
P.S. Inside of my coaching program, I can help you feel better about your divorce and create a peaceful post-divorce life. Click here to schedule a free, private (just you and me) coaching call.
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