If you say "I don't know" about your Divorce, YOU'RE LYING.
As the old saying goes, "if I had a dollar for every time a client said 'I don't know. . . "
Have you been saying that, or something like that? "I don't understand" is the close sibling to "I don't know," and another phrase that I hear a lot from my clients.
Both of those phrases are complete bullshit lies that your brain is offering you. If this is happening to you, exhale. . . because it means your brain is working properly.
I know, you think it's true that you "don't know" or "don't understand." You're believing those phrases when your brain offers them up, but really think about what's buried underneath those tiny little sentences.
What is buried is another thought that is also untrue -- namely, that there is one single "right" answer and you're desperately searching for it.
The "right" amount of time that a contested divorce, custody or support case is supposed to take.
The "right" number of trips to court before your case is over.
The "right" parenting schedule for your children.
The "right" amount of child support. Y'know, the one that is not "too much" or "too little."
You think someone is hiding that from you. Maybe the judge, maybe your ex, maybe his sneaky lawyer who you just know has it out for you.
It's all bullshit.
You don't lack understanding, my friends. You know exactly why your case is taking as long as it is taking. You know exactly where you are in the process, and you also know how to end your case today.
You really do.
In fact, you know better than anyone -- better than me, better than the judge presiding over your case, better than your ex's lawyer. You are the expert on what is happening with your family.
The "right" answer that you're missing is that there is no "right" answer.
Once you stop believing that you "don't know" or "don't understand," things will click into place for you. That will take some work. Your brain will still offer up the idea that you're confused.
You just need to redirect your brain. I can help with that, and I'll be here when you're ready.
Talk to you soon.
Janie Lanza Vowles - Practicing Divorce Lawyer -- Certified Life Coach