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Choice Ownership (in and after your Divorce.)

mindset

Hey friend.

I want to talk to you this week about what I call "Choice Ownership."

"Choice Ownership" is the practice of owning your choices.

Your choice to leave.  Your choice to stay.  Your choice to disagree. . . or agree.

All of the choices.  Your life is filled with choices. . . and, in case you haven't noticed, so is your divorce and post-divorce life.

The choice to create agreement and peace with your ex, or the choice to disagree and let a judge make the most important decisions about your family.

So many choices.

Do you want to have the ability to make all of these choices?

Do you, really?

Or are you believing your brain when it says that you don't have any?

My clients frequently try to tell me that they don't have choices. . . that they "have to agree" or "have to follow my advice."

 

When my clients try to tell me that, I call bullshit.  Because the absence of choice is ALWAYS a bullshit lie.

 

Sometimes, my clients get mad at me when I say that.

But I love my clients too much to worry about them being mad at me, and I love them too much to allow them to bullshit themselves.

I just won't do it.

Your primitive brain will always want to avoid change and exert as little energy as possible.

That's literally your primitive brain's job.  It wants to keep you alive, and that means doing nothing and staying in the cave.  Your primitive brain does not give two shits if you're happy.  It's perfectly fine with you breathing and feeling disempowered.

I'm not totally fine with that, because. . . 

 

I know that you are capable of more than your primitive brain wants to allow.

 

You ALWAYS have choices.  The only question is whether or not you choose to own them -- meaning, whether or not you choose "Choice Ownership."

 

Owning your choices looks like, well, nothing.  It is almost boring to watch.

It's much easier to be dramatic, or to pretend like you don't know what to do, or that "it's complicated" or that you're "confused."  When you tell me that, I'm going to show you how you're wrong.

"Choice ownership" looks like stopping, slowing down, thinking, contemplating, and then actively choosing between or among the options.

And then actively deciding to have your own back for the choice that you made.

Choice ownership does not look like yelling, or fighting, or rolling your eyes, or saying "I guess so" from a feeling of resignation when your lawyer tells you it's time to make a decision.

 

Choice ownership is quiet.  It is peaceful.

 

It is also very, very powerful.

 

And it is 100% available to you.  Always.

 

Talk to you soon, friend.  You take good care until then.

    

P.S. I help my clients with decisions and choice ownership all the time in my coaching program, and I can help you, too.  Click here to schedule a free coaching call with me.

If You're Struggling To Peacefully Co-Parent After Divorce, Stop Telling Yourself This Lie. . .

and learn the 3 Truths that will CHANGE EVERYTHING.

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